Down in the dumplings: Homemade pierogies!

What should you do when have hours and hours of work left to complete your Halloween costume? Make pierogies, of course! It only takes forever! It’s your pierogative.

Here are some do’s & don’ts for your church lady Sunday:

DO read the comments first if you find a recipe online. Here, you will find out that it will yield double the amount of potato filling you will need. Also, DO make the dough and filling a day or two beforehand to save time (really, split time).

DO NOT carelessly throw a potato ball on the floor, even if you have an abundance of them. DO throw it away.

DO befriend a kind Polish princess to borrow a pierogi maker from.

DO use a vodka bottle as a rolling pin, even if there is alcohol still in it! This made me feel like a funny, modern woman. (PS – DO NOT buy “Cherry Wave” vodka. It’s GROSS.)

DO use a cup to make cute little discs.

DO NOT make a special batch for a dumb boy who doesn’t eat cheese. You’re stupid!

MarmaDOke: DO recall a Marmaduke comic strip that made you laugh in Friday’s funny pages.

DO take the time to dance in your kitchen with flour on your hands. Turns out Phantom Planet, Weezer, Kanye West and Pavement can be good for this. No photo.

DO NOT be frightened to put your babies in the water. They’ll be okay.

DO make as many as you can at once and freeze the rest. This relatively simple process is deceptively time consuming.

DO bring your pierogies to a dinner party! Maybe you will eat a sausage!

– The End -

I could pretend to be a Ninja Turtle

Because of my laziness, today you get not one, but two kindergarten drawings:

Last week, I was practically wearing the exact outfit that is in the first panel (obviously, as it would appear that there are no clothes in the second one at all). Please note that an adult wrote “bits me,” and not me. If I remember correctly, I think my brother would hold me down to the floor with his leg, and not exactly hit me. I’m sure it was difficult for my teacher to decipher what was happening from that illustration. I’m also surprised it wasn’t investigated by DYFS.

But perhaps best of all…

ON THIS DAY, NINETEEN YEARS AGO…

The only thing wrong with this is that I’m Donatello. While I have been a witch at least five times throughout my childhood, I have still yet to be a Ninja Turtle. Two years ago, I was the opposite:

Shreddin'

Heart Worming

A lot has happened since a few weeks ago (including but not limited to me touching the Stanley Cup and seeing David Cross). I also failed to blog one of my kindergarten pictures that I drew in early October. I have been watching a tremendous amount of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, so we are all probably better off with me not blogging a lot for the time being. I’ve been saying “bummer” a lot. And eating a lot of pizza. Coming soon, I will tell you about the lasting impact of TMNT on my life.  (I just want to mention right now that in an episode I just watched, Michelangelo was tied up and groaned, “This is stupid!” This made me laugh and laugh.)

Tomorrow, I am going to finally see They Might Be Giants. Speaking of lasting impacts, I saw their video for “Dr. Worm” on KaBlam! on Nickelodeon about thirteen (!!!) years ago. This is one of my favorite videos/songs of all time. It is right up there with Foo Fighters’ “Everlong.” Tomorrow night, they are performing their album Flood from beginning to end, but I hope maybe they throw this song in as an encore or something. Do watch this video if you enjoy heart warming happiness: