An exercise in thinking too hard: Follow up on 17 Again

I feel like I have to admit that at least half of my desire to see this movie was to see if I could get a certain person to join me. A sort of litmus test, if you will. After seeing it…I don’t know even know where to begin. Here are some key problems:

• WHY DOESN’T ANYONE RECOGNIZE HIM? Our protagonist is not just transformed into some random kid – he’s transformed into his 17-year-old self. He’s surrounded by people who knew him growing up – his best friend, his old gym coach, his soon-to-be ex-wife – and hey, don’t most kids know what their parents looked like when they were younger?

• I commented during the movie that the writers must have a really low opinion of teenage girls. In a scene where three of his daughter’s friends are aggressively coming onto him, he asks them how they expect anyone to respect them if they don’t respect themselves. One says something like, “You don’t have to respect me,” and the second argues, “No! Don’t respect me!” and the third desperately says, “You don’t even have to remember my name.” This scene (and the utter stupidity consistently displayed by his daughter) made me feel kind of terrible. Also, I fear for young women who will see this movie because they’re lusting after Zac Efron.

• My friend jokingly asked, “Is this directed by Zac Efron?” There were definitely a few too many glamour shots of this kid. At the same time, it seems like most people at the high school (except the sluts) don’t realize he’s totally gorgeous, even if he does dress like Ellen DeGeneres. I wasn’t under the impression that handsome, absurdly talented kids are shoved in the hall and treated like dorks. On that note, why wasn’t this grown man better equipped to handle high school – again? Our conclusion is that the writers are as out of touch with kids today as the main character. The same friend pointed out that if a man was really 17 again, the movie would probably be near X-rated.

• The more I think about it, the “lesson” in this movie was really lackluster. *Select this block of text if you don’t care about “spoiling” the movie for yourself:

He at first thinks he was transformed so that he could realize his dreams – getting a basketball scholarship – but he realizes he is actually sent back to rebuild his family. When given the chance to be the basketball star again, he hands the reigns over to his son. The only thing he managed to do to his daughter was get her dumped and humiliated. While he gets his wife back, I’m not sure he really earned his second chance. The wife and his friend know about the age switch (provided by a magical janitor/spirit guide), but will the kids ever find out? Won’t they be sad that their new friend completely disappeared? Will they ever realize their dad looked just like him? Won’t the daughter want to commit suicide? So many questions. Also, my crush on Matthew Perry was not rekindled. I also felt sad for him that he was playing second fiddle to Zac Efron.

My verdict: Do. Not. Watch.