Not awesome: Getting sexually harassed by strangers & being made to feel like it’s not a big deal

Even though it was a dreary day and promises to be a dreary weekend, I feel like I need to write about this now. Earlier, I was reading a thread on a local message board where girls were venting about getting catcalled. It was really interesting to read about the experiences that other women have had with street harassment, and also to see the responses of guys who are seemingly unaware at how many females across the board (er, message board?) have to deal with it. As the weather starts to get warmer, I dread the task of getting dressed for the day. Ugh. I’m not sure where to start, or where I’m going with this. I just want to try to explain how this makes me feel in attempt to give people an understanding of why this is not okay.

As much as I want to not care about ‘what others think,’ years and years of some men talking to me a certain way has certainly had a lasting negative impact on my self image. It is so disappointing that these men don’t understand this. I want to shake people and scream, “God, do you have a mother? A sister? Would you want someone talking like this to your daughter?”

In the past, I was afraid talking about this kind of comes off as complaining about getting “hit on too much,” like, “Oh man, my biggest problem is that I’m so hot!” That is hardly the sentiment. If I can stress one thing enough, it’s that it is not a compliment. Also, shrugging your shoulders and telling a girl to get over it is really dismissive of a greater problem.

It is not a compliment for someone to respect you so little to think it is okay to talk to you that way. Getting ogled, hissed at, winked at and smooched at by strangers makes me want to throw up.

Public Service Animated GIF: Obsessed Movie Winking Smiley Face

Dear lucky viewing public,

If you’re anything like me, after seeing the movie Obsessed starring Stringer Bell, Beyonce and Ali Larter, you turned to Google to help you find the hilarious animated smiley face Ali Larter sent Stringer to email to your love interest. If you are truly like me, then your Google search yielded no results – UNTIL NOW.

You’re welcome,

Tempgirl Blah & Order

Harangue, Mr. Honeybunch & Jeremy Jay @ Gooski’s

First up last night was fellow New Jersey native Julie Sokolow’s band, Mr. Honeybunch. Maybe I’ll rename my imaginary solo project ‘Oats’ so I can tour with them. Some young’uns were there to support them. My friend remarked that it was like Pittsburgh: The Next Generation and she was too right. I was in a bizarre world where everyone was younger than me but the kid on stage was dressed like he was from the 80s and buckled his knees like Elvis. They were fun and had an unpolished sound. They all switched up instruments at some point and my favorite song was the last one where the drummer sang, “Every time I take my broke ass to Gooski’s I know I’m gonna have a good time.” During one song, my bud Suzy asked, “What’s that Velvet Underground song that this sounds exactly like?” which at first sounds like a criticism of their originality, but is also a bit of a compliment.

I realize this blog is becoming an account of all of the same things I do all of the time, but whatever. I love seeing Harangue live, especially while waiting for their album to come out. While they were setting up, I was encouraged to try to get a candid photo of two of the guys under a lamp because it looked kind of artsy, but then I got scared because Taichi saw me, so it came out like this:

This can add to the mystery of them on the internet.

They then performed in a practically pitch black room, save for these lights:

At one point, Matt got up from behind the keyboard and was singing in the corner. I’m not sure if it was because I was ridiculously tired, but I felt like I was watching something really amazing. They had some technical problems (Tim said, “Earth Day can be unpredictable”) that nearly cut the set short, but worked it out long enough to play one more song.

So finally, Jeremy Jay, this dude from Los Angeles with his French drummer graces the stage. This arrogant guy was full of ‘tude. He kept complaining about his vocals not being loud enough, though to my untrained ear, I thought it sounded fine. The way he whined, “Matthew, please!” to fix it made me want to slap him on Matt’s behalf (no offense to Matt, I know he likes this guy). Let’s examine his stage banter:

- “We’re a band called The Muffled.”

- “Where’s the sound guy? Awful!”

- [Imploring the few people left in the room to come closer to the stage] “We want to love you! Show us what ‘Pittsburgh’ is all about!” Hey, maybe no one wants to get closer to you because you’re a condescending jerk!

- [In response to some other unperceivable sound problem again] “At this point, whatever.”

I would have enjoyed his set had I not been frustratingly furious throughout it. Despite myself, I liked the song “Love Everlasting.” I was also shocked to find out that he performs the song “Airwalker.” I have heard this song before and really liked it and didn’t know who sang it. Ugh.

CMU Carnival 2009: Zach Galifianakis & The New Pornographers

I have to give it up to CMU’s Activities Board. Year after year I have been able to enjoy their programming despite no longer being a student and not having gone to their school. Five years ago (!) they brought in Mitch Hedberg, who I practically begged Pitt’s student stupid activities board to get.  Three years ago I saw The Shins with The Brunettes. I don’t think I even tried to get into Demetri Martin because it was indoors that year.  Last year they had the Human Giant guys. Good golly.

I was surprised to find out they got Zach Galifianakis this year. I mean, he’s kind of…weird? While waiting in the non-ticket holders line, I overheard one student ask, “Who is this?” and her friend replied, “He’s a stand up comedian.” She then said, “I don’t really like stand up comedy.” WHAT? While this really irritated me, I was glad all these dummies would get their minds expanded. Unfortunately, as everyone was vacating the tent, I heard another girl say, “He started out really funny,” and her friend finished, “But he went downhill really fast.” Patently untrue. In reference to a video where his head was superimposed on a woman with her chest revealed, she said, “I mean, there were kids watching!” Again – what? I think it was pretty clear that this part of the carnival was not for children. Unless she was referring to little tittybabies like herself.

My idiot friend was running late so I made this video. The sound quality is fine, but the image is not all that great. It’s the first piano segment of his act:

I stopped taping for a minute while he ranted about the kid who took his picture with a cellphone. Here’s where it picks up again.

I have two more videos to post once they are uploaded.

The next day, I came out for The New Pornographers. I’ll admit that while I’m a big fan of both A.C. Newman and Neko Case, I never really listened to them. I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, but I found out I knew more of his stuff that I realized. I weaseled my way up the second row after they were done and found myself surrounded by really affectionate couples. During the show I felt like I was an unwilling participant in a nerd orgy.

A.C. Newman joked about getting 83% on expert vocals on one of their own songs in Rock Band. I never thought about musicians trying to do their own songs on their. It blew my mind a little. A loud kid behind me kept commenting on everything the drummer did, but he was pretty entertaining. He looks like Eugene Mirman yet drums like Tim Brown! Here’s a video of their encore, ELO’s “Don’t Bring Me Down.”

An exercise in thinking too hard: Follow up on 17 Again

I feel like I have to admit that at least half of my desire to see this movie was to see if I could get a certain person to join me. A sort of litmus test, if you will. After seeing it…I don’t know even know where to begin. Here are some key problems:

• WHY DOESN’T ANYONE RECOGNIZE HIM? Our protagonist is not just transformed into some random kid – he’s transformed into his 17-year-old self. He’s surrounded by people who knew him growing up – his best friend, his old gym coach, his soon-to-be ex-wife – and hey, don’t most kids know what their parents looked like when they were younger?

• I commented during the movie that the writers must have a really low opinion of teenage girls. In a scene where three of his daughter’s friends are aggressively coming onto him, he asks them how they expect anyone to respect them if they don’t respect themselves. One says something like, “You don’t have to respect me,” and the second argues, “No! Don’t respect me!” and the third desperately says, “You don’t even have to remember my name.” This scene (and the utter stupidity consistently displayed by his daughter) made me feel kind of terrible. Also, I fear for young women who will see this movie because they’re lusting after Zac Efron.

• My friend jokingly asked, “Is this directed by Zac Efron?” There were definitely a few too many glamour shots of this kid. At the same time, it seems like most people at the high school (except the sluts) don’t realize he’s totally gorgeous, even if he does dress like Ellen DeGeneres. I wasn’t under the impression that handsome, absurdly talented kids are shoved in the hall and treated like dorks. On that note, why wasn’t this grown man better equipped to handle high school – again? Our conclusion is that the writers are as out of touch with kids today as the main character. The same friend pointed out that if a man was really 17 again, the movie would probably be near X-rated.

• The more I think about it, the “lesson” in this movie was really lackluster. *Select this block of text if you don’t care about “spoiling” the movie for yourself:

He at first thinks he was transformed so that he could realize his dreams – getting a basketball scholarship – but he realizes he is actually sent back to rebuild his family. When given the chance to be the basketball star again, he hands the reigns over to his son. The only thing he managed to do to his daughter was get her dumped and humiliated. While he gets his wife back, I’m not sure he really earned his second chance. The wife and his friend know about the age switch (provided by a magical janitor/spirit guide), but will the kids ever find out? Won’t they be sad that their new friend completely disappeared? Will they ever realize their dad looked just like him? Won’t the daughter want to commit suicide? So many questions. Also, my crush on Matthew Perry was not rekindled. I also felt sad for him that he was playing second fiddle to Zac Efron.

My verdict: Do. Not. Watch.

Kids turning into adults. Adults turning into kids.

In preparation to see 17 Again tonight, I have decided to revisit all of the other adults and children switching places movies that I have loved in the past.

Big (1988) – “Have you ever had a really big secret?”

What the hell kind of tagline is that? Big is obviously the first movie that usually comes to mind when you’re thinking of these kinds of movies, even though 1988 was THE YEAR for movies like this. As everyone reading this should know, the kid makes a wish to grow up to a carnival machine and then turns into Tom Hanks. He gets a rad job and a cool house, but I don’t remember how…at least in 13 Going on 30, she is transported to her adult life already in progress, as in she is in the future, rather than an adult version of herself in present times where her kid self has disappeared. Also, Big is weird because of Tom Hanks’ relationship with an adult woman. Wow. This movie was bizarre and problematic. But hey, look at this!

13 Going on 30 (2004) – “For some, 13 feels like it was just yesterday. For Jenna, it was.”

I have an irrational hatred for Jennifer Garner that is mostly based on her character from “Felicity” (and real life relationship with Scott Foley). Merely looking at her usually makes me angry and is the reason I couldn’t watch “Alias.” I’ll admit that she is gorgeous, but her voice is annoying and I swear she is sucking her cheeks in on purpose sometimes. Anyway, I saw this movie by accident when I was home from college. I would like to attribute my enthusiasm for this movie to Mark Ruffalo, but honestly, Jennifer Garner did a wonderful job portraying a 13-year-old in a 30-year-old’s body (much like the great acting in Vice Versa). Her performance was just purely sweet. Unhateable. She doesn’t switch with anyone, rather she makes a wish on her 13^th birthday to fast forward to her future, and thanks to some magical dollhouse dust, she wakes up the next day in her adult life. Surely the results of not knowing what happened in the last 17 years of your life would be more catastrophic than they were in this movie, but whatever. It is fully adorable.

Vice Versa (1988) – “The Comedy For The Kid In All Of Us.”

The only thing I really remember is that Fred Savage drinks a beer, I think. Like a generic, Repo Man-style beer can. Judge Reinhold is his dad, and they switch places. I probably like this more than Big, actually, but probably just as much as 13 Going on 30. Fred Savage was a great kid actor, showing even more promise than Lindsay Lohan ever did. I want to watch this again, right now.

Freaky Friday – “Mondays are manic. Wednesdays are wild. And Fridays are about to get a little freaky.” (2003)

I haven’t seen the Barbara Harris/Jodie Foster Freaky Friday (1976), but I have seen the made for TV Freaky Friday with Shelley Long/Gaby Hoffmann (1995). I’m pretty sure I had just read the book when I originally watched it, and I had a connection with Shelley Long because I watched “Cheers.” She gave a wholesomeness to the character because she always plays doofy and kind of dumb, which is good for a kid trapped in an adult’s body. I think most people are familiar with the premise – the mother and daughter complain about how easy the other’s life is until some sort of magic causes them to switch place for the day.

The Jamie Lee Curtis/Lindsay Lohan Freaky Friday (2003) threw in some a new obstacle: complicated love interests, and also some racist portrayals of Chinese people (which I forgave because of how much I like the movie otherwise). I was just thinking about how much I love Jamie Lee Curtis when I was watching True Lies the other day. Her timing in this is also perfect. Lindsay Lohan was still sort of a kid when this came out, and her acting is on par with Mean Girls. I still miss the days of precocious young Lindsay in The Parent Trap. I’m pretty sure I saw this at least twice in theaters.

I never saw Bruce Willis’ The Kid (2000), but it sounds kind of terrifying. The 8 year old version of himself appears to his adult self in order to help him get his life on track. Ack!  I don’t remember if I ever saw Like Father, Like Son (1987) starring Dudley Moore/Kirk Cameron, but it’s basically father/son Freaky Friday with a magical potion. Actually, I think I saw this and appropriately forgot it. We’ll see where 17 Again lands in this territory.

Recent ramblings

Oops. There’s been a lot I’ve wanted to say and a lot that I’ve wanted to say but don’t at all feel like writing about…sorry for being e-loof (oh my god, did I make that up?!).  Here is my life lately, presented in bullet points:

Things I did:

• The Parlor Mob came! Duh. I have a video that I have to upload.I brought them vegan German chocolate cupcakes. These cupcakes made people go crazy. Nearly everyone who had one said it was the best cupcake they had ever had. Nick even made Sam call me to tell me so! This was a fun night overall. My friends and I had a potluck beforehand and I ended up going to bed pretty early. My bud Jason’s back in town!

Paul from The Parlor Mob

• I was reunited with the old HBO show “Dream On.” I used to fall back on an anecdote about this show often when I was writing in college. I won’t go into it now in case I feel like using it again later.

• I saw Adventureland and Fast & Furious back to back. I highly recommend the first and highly do not recommend the latter, even just for yuks.

• I saw Bill Callahan at Paul’s CDs on 4/14. I talked to him awkwardly. Here’s a write up with a video on the City Paper FFW>> blog.

• I’ve been going to the gym for about a month! I have dubbed this stage of my life as Operation: Krang Body (previously called Operation: Top Model).

• I went to an open mic comedy night in the South Side. It forced me to consider being a comedian. Can someone please explain to me how you make a joke about having a GPS system that sounds like Samuel L. Jackson (SamSam instead of TomTom) and fail to even mention Changing Lanes?

Things I thought about:

• Someone remarked that I have a “type.” I’ve realized that this is actually kind of true. It seems that a trademark is the cleft chin. Let me take opportunity to post this picture of Aaron Eckhart that I love.

• I have been epically failing at the True Spies theme for the month, All-Literative April. I do have things I want to post, and I will hopefully get to them later this week.

• I’m going to see the hell out of 17 Again. I love all of these kids and adults switching places movies (or adults turning into kids and vice versa). Big, all incarnations of Freaky Friday, 13 Going on 30 – which I didn’t expect to like at all – all awesome. The only bad thing is I was hoping to keep Zac Ephron out of my pop culture radar for as long as possible, and now he’s totally in my sphere of knowledge. (Also, I have a soft spot for Matthew Perry. A few years ago, I had a dream that I was at a fancy cocktail party wearing a beautiful red dress, and he asked me if I wanted “to get out of here,” and I declined because I had a boyfriend. This only solidified my notion that I was also the best girlfriend in real life. I actively had a crush on Matthew Perry at the time. I’m not sure that I wouldn’t have gotten out of there with him if the opportunity presented itself.)

Uh….that’s it for now. What a bunch of nonsense.

Unblurred 4/3/09 – Modern Formations’ Spring Salon

I planned on having a quiet Friday night to myself, but I had forgotten that it was time again for another Unblurred. I had heard of an intriguing show at Modern Formations, The Spring Salon. For this juried exhibition, visitors to the gallery submit a ballot with their top three choices of who they would like to see get their own solo exhibit in December. The show runs through April 24 and there will be a closing reception from 6-8 p.m.

My number one vote ended up going to someone I actually know, Spencer Longo. I ended up seeing his submission last because of the route I took around the gallery. I somehow knew it was his before I read his name next to it. I just looked at his portfolio page, and fuck, I had no idea of how artistically talented he is. I might be the least talented person I know. There were a pair of moonshoes underneath this that I couldn’t fit in the picture.

Spencer Longo - "Sci Fi Vacay"

I knew and knew of several other people who submitted. It was a fairly overwhelming scene with the amount of contributors and the crowd. I didn’t bring my camera or memo pad with me that night because I was afraid it was going to rain and didn’t want to have either in my pocket, so I ended up taking camera phone pictures of the names of artists I had never heard of before but wanted to learn more about. Thanks technology! I loved the idea of this show and there were so many great submissions (and a ton of cool female artists). Here they are:

Dan Vogel – Self-taught portraiture artist and co-founder of The Academy of the South Side in the Brew House with two other dudes who also seem to be awesome. I read about them here and here. I don’t really have the vocabulary for discussing art, but the surreal/photographic-ness of his portraits was nothing short of impressive.

Dan Vogel - "Ernesto"

Kirsten Lowe-Rebel – I found her Etsy page . “Smokin BanANNA” was on display during the show and is why I voted for her. I find a lot of mixed media stuff to be boring sometimes, but I loved her use of wood, ink and colors and especially the reinforcement stickers. If I had enough money to purchase art I would definitely patronize her site.

Kirsten Lowe-Rebel - "Smokin BanANNA"

Amy Conroy – Here is her CMU portfolio site. I really liked her watercolor in the show, and the rest of her stuff is even more interesting. It’s all kind of beautifully ugly (but not ugly, in a bad way). Her work also seems familiar. I’m not sure if she reminds me of another artist or if I’ve actually seen her stuff before.

Amy Conroy - Carrots

Seth Clark – He had a few collage and oil pieces that were really subtly pretty. I really like his website.  Here is “City.” I also like his Pittsburgh map.

Seth Clark - "City"

Alice Winn – I’m having trouble tracking down her web presence, but I found this piece she did on Blue Ruin Gallery’s website. Here is a little picture of what I saw in the show.  Right on top was a piece by Richard Schnap, who I mentioned after the last Unblurred.

Alice Winn - "In the Moment"

Her style would be easy to imagine as the illustrations in a print magazine.

Rachel Debuque – Can’t really find her either. She had cute, small drawings and I liked her simple style.

Rachel Debuque - "Around the House"

Carlee Freeman – Her website says she is from North Carolina, so I’m not sure how she ended up here. “Violin Head” was one of my favorite pieces in this whole show.

Carlee Freeman - "Violin Head"