Photo envy: Miss Lulu & The Teaspoon Shortage

So, I officially failed Fun-a-Day. For the first week of January, I pretty much started a different project every day until I finally abandoned them all. I did have some sort of fun on most days, so I suppose that counts for something.

Since I apparently can’t get motivated to pick up my camera or create much of anything, I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you an amazing photographer named Lucia Holm. She is an crazily talented artist and I could only hope to one day have a fraction of her skill. She’s also a Photoshop genius. Sigh. Reppin’ Jersey:

Here is a photo she took of The Parlor Mob, my friend’s band that I wrote about two weeks ago, in their Canadian tuxedos:

This is Nicole Atkins, one of my favorite singers, bud of Lucia Holm and The Parlor Mob:

She takes brilliant self portraits. The backgrounds are always great. She also has perfect bangs:

Always so well executed:

All of the above pictures are linked to their Flickr pages for Miss Lulu & The Teaspoon Shortage. I highly recommend taking a look.

Frightened Rabbit @ CMU

I had gotten out of the habit of going to live shows as much as I used to, and it’s cool to be making it out more often again. Last night, I went to CMU with Derek & gang to see Frightened Rabbit. We unfortunately just missed Satin Gum, but they are a local band and I’m sure I’ll get my chance again. Arc in Round were all right, but I got the feeling that they’re a band I’d rather listen to recorded rather than live. I didn’t know much about Frightened Rabbit other than one of their songs really sounds like a Counting Crows song. There was some cute stage banter (a little “Let’s go Steelers” in a Scottish accent, an apology for cussing so much) and really annoying, stupid fan heckling (shouting “Steelers!” more than once, something like “You guys are a swell bunch!”). I’ve also fallen out of the habit of taking pictures at the shows I go to, but here’s one for the blog:

It’s weird to be at a show where you don’t know the headlining band. The people around me were really into it, and I enjoy getting swept up in that. A lot of the time they were getting amped up in anticipation for a song where the jumping up and down didn’t really seem appropriate. Like slow songs where the floor was literally shaking beneath us. I’m not trying to be a hater. Like I said, I like to be around positive vibes. Here’s a video I took of an acoustic song that the singer did for the encore. I’m always thinking of you, Internet. It’s slow and pretty, and the crowd was “quiet as a library.” The password is: blahandorder.

Small, happy moments

On Sunday night, my coworker Rachel gave me a ride home because it had snowed. I sat in the car as she brushed the accumulated snow off of her windows. She hesitated outside of the windshield on the passenger’s side for a second before slowly drawing a heart in the snow with the edge of her ice scraper right in front of me. We laughed and laughed. Then on the passenger’s side window, she struck again, making a smiley face. Oh, the untold joy!

I am a believer in fate, to some extent, generally in the context it was not my fate to ____. Today I took a bus that I usually don’t, and while walking home, I ran into jetsetter Jess who I haven’t seen in a million years! I was 99% sure it was her from kind of far away, and as she approached I was sure and almost cried. We didn’t have time to talk, but I am still jolly.

I thought I’d have some time to mellow out this winter, but so far I have been quite a b-z b* and am a little bit happy about that.

*Does anyone remember this book? Holy shit, I think I have made my heart explode with nostalgia for the books of my childhood.

Colorful cupcake fail

I baked some tiny vegan cakes on Saturday night. I was totally not at the top of my game. I chalk this up to being just another mishap in the kitchen. The baking cups I used were a bit smaller than the ones I usually use and I didn’t take that into account for the baking time. I was pretty upset but brought them to the party anyway, where hopefully people were too drunk to tell. Here is a photo story.

Wet ingredients!

Dry ingredients!

Baking cakes

Kogepan

Just chillin

Frosted failure

Frosty

Big little cakes

If you click on any picture, click this one

Cupcake suitcase

Italian Ice: The band so nice, I saw them twice

Thoroughly impressed with their set on Thursday, I made it out to Gooski’s on Friday with Derek and his gang. Having lured them away from the Beeblo, I was afraid of what they would think, but I’m pretty sure minds were blown (and that one of them would say something like ‘Was that all?’ in response to that). I hung out in the bar during Tusk Lord Band and Dean Cercone because we met some nice, friendly drunk girls who were fun that we’ll hopefully see around again. I had surprisingly never been to a show there. It was fun and made me think that I should invest in a pair of earplugs.

Left: Drummer from Centipede Eest, Right: Drummer from The Modey Lemon & Midnite Snake

Pittsburgh (We Go Hard) or Here We Go Pittsburgh: CP REMIXED

For how much I don’t like being around people, I’ve been very social this month. I’m ultimately glad that I go out usually, but the idea of going out is sometimes overwhelming. I’ve learned that I’m a lot shyer than I thought I was, despite the need to talk about everything I do on the internet.

Last night I ended up tagging along with my coworkers to CP REMIXED. It was the first all ages show I had been to in a while and it was strange to see so many teenagers in one place. I felt very old. One girl had her top basically falling off while she was sitting on some boy’s lap. Yuck.

Girl Talk, Pittsburgh’s most famous not-DJ chose the lineup, and I think somewhat cruelly set up Michael Johnsen for a fall. His experimental noise was not flying with the kids, and while I tried to keep an open mind, most of the adults were also assholes during his set. I have a fundamental appreciation for what he was doing, but I was horrified by the crowd reaction. I can only imagine how he felt up against that.

Between sets, Cutups did a great job at reviving the mopers into quasi-dancing in the strange, smallish space. He played a remix of that “Pittsburgh’s going to the Superbowl” song that purely delighted me. I somehow care about this city.

Italian Ice was awesome. I was kind of mesmerized by Paul Q., mostly because he was the only one I could see while I was standing on my chair. If you like intense drumming and crazy sounds, then this is the band for you. Completely entertaining. From the back of the crowd, I enjoyed seeing the strange mix of people really getting into it. I had to restrain myself as to not fall on the floor. I’m tempted to see then tonight, but probably won’t because I have to be a hermit at least sometimes.

Finally, our little rap superstar Wiz Khalifa showed up, ensuring that the kids would probably not break their curfews. He performed about four and a half songs – yes, a half, as one of the songs was something he dreamed up the night before for some side project, and then took some pictures before leaving. He’s a cute young guy with a Pharrell-like fashion sense (plus a big “P” chain to rep the city). Most of his songs consist of repeating one thing, and our shared favorite was, “Got no money? Get some!” The show was over by 10:30, which was something I could appreciate. The night was an interesting, enjoyable experience.

Here’s a movie you should rent or borrow from me: Reprise

At work, people get rid of their promo junk that they don’t want by leaving it in the kitchen. I saw the cover of this Reprise DVD, took a look at the Björk-y looking girl, quickly skimmed the back and saw that it was about young writers in Norway, took it and then left it in my living room for while. I decided to watch it on Saturday, and I’m glad I did.

It has a French The Royal Tenenbaums feel to it, despite being Norwegian. I guess I say that, not knowing a lot about Norwegian cinema. The omnipotent narrator tells the viewer things in terms of how it may have happened or how it should happen, so you never forget that this is a story.  You get the whole past, present, future deal. The jumpcuts and flashbacks are a bit jarring, particularly towards the beginning. Overall, it is a great story about a group of friends that is very sincerely acted. You’re with them through the two main characters’ publishing processes, mental issues, and troubles with their girlfriends. While they are kind of pseudo-intellectuals, they are totally just boys, and it’s kind of refreshing. Their friends are jerks, and they all know it, and there are some such realistic small moments between their interactions (I also laughed when they were at a party and one of the guys plugged in his own iPod and put on “Deceptacon”).  It’s clever, and borders on being overly so.  You can watch the trailer here. Even though I liked the story, I could have watched it without the subtitles on because it so visually pleasing.

Erik and Phillip. All of the press photos make the characters look like they’re in a band.

I’m usually such a hater. I just really loved this, perhaps as a pseudo-writer. Such a great, random pickup.

Say no-no-no to Notorious

On Monday night, I went to see Notorious. It’s like a made-for-TV movie at best.  It was entertaining, if only for the unintentional laugh out loud moments and obviously good soundtrack.

The guy who played Lil’ Cease was Isiah from Losing Isiah (as well as a Freebo’s bud on the third season of Dexter), Marc John Jefferies from those annoying computer commercials years ago, which just about blew my mind. The guy who played Diddy, one of my favorite celebrities, was just godawful. Diddy was an executive producer on this, which I suppose doesn’t guarantee quality, but you would think it would at least guarantee a good actor to play Puffy. Oh well. Otherwise, the acting was okay. Angela Bassett was his mother in a forgettable performance. The Biggie guy did a good job filling in the size 14 shoes of the most important character. Christopher Wallace, A.K.A Biggie’s actual kid, played him as a child. I get the feeling that the Tupac character was not very fair to Tupac. OHHH and the girl who plays Lil’ Kim was in 3LW. Also mind-blowing.

My biggest issue with Notorious is that it is so clearly subjective and the story could have been written by anyone. Completely bogus biopic. The dialogue was ridiculous, as if everyone knew what was going to happen so they only said the most profound things during every conversation. In an obvious shortcut around content, they made the strange decision for it to be narrated by Biggie. I just saw a review that called it a Puff piece, which it totally true and succeeded in making me laugh. If you don’t know, now you still don’t know, really.

Poppa don’t hit me no more!

My point is, wait until this movie is on DVD or on television (it’s not even playing anywhere within the city here), where you are less likely to be stabbed. Just sayin.

Holler

I missed a lot of the coverage because CNN made me download a million things and then wouldn’t stream the video smoothly, so I ended up watching the very end of his speech through Fox News on Hulu. Now they’re immediately dissecting the speech, but whatever, shut up. Today is awesome. I can’t wait to tell my grandkids about how I was updating my Facebook status during one of the biggest historical events of my lifetime.

ArithMcTic: Dollar (menus) & sense

My brother called me a few days ago and we discussed our terrible eating habits (mine of which are coming to an end, see below post) and I could hear a familiar din in the background and asked, “Where are you?” and he slowly replied, “…McDonalds.”

Here’s one for the blogs! He told me that he asked for a double cheeseburger, which he had heard was now on the dollar menu, and the cashier told him his total was $2.something. He asked about the dollar menu status, and she told him that the McDouble (I think) was on the dollar menu, which is essentially a double cheeseburger, but since he ordered it under the incorrect moniker, he was charged the original price. WackArnolds!

He also observed that they advertise a 20-piece chicken nugget deal for $5.99, yet you can get a 4-piece on the dollar menu. That’s right, five 4-piece deals will get you 20 nuggets for $5, instead of their $6 “deal.” Shenanigans. They’re the nugnuts.

Lemonhead: The Master Cleanser

1/29/08 - This post will temporarily be linked to the right while it is still being updated.

Day Zero

So, about two years ago I did this Master Cleanser thing. The only reason I’m doing it again is because it seemed to temporarily rewire me to eat healthier, and that’s something I could use again. I want to think about eating raw instead of thinking Arby’s. I didn’t write about it back then, but I figured some internet people might be interested, so this time, I’m going to write about it on this post. I’m going to keep updating it here rather than making daily entries, so click back if you want to learn more about it or hear about my progress. Fuck. This is going to suck.

Mishap in the kitchen*: Peanut butter bars

I was baking peanut butter bars from my girl Paula’s The Lady & Sons Just Desserts before I got several steps into it and realized I was missing out on a blogging opportunity. In my Saturday solitude, I halved the recipe just because I wanted a baked good. How do I do this? Do I tell you what’s in them? Here, let’s pick up where the fun really started!

I absent-mindedly picked up the oat container by the lid and then woooosh-oats all over the goddamn floor! I stood motionlessly over the pile before I retrieved my camera and vacuum cleaner.

Look at this smug bastard’s face. Are you proud of yourself??

So then, the surviving 1/2 cup of oats made it into the batter, along with a 1/4 cup each of butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar, 1/2 an egg (I whisked it in a bowl and poured half in), 1/6 cup peanut butter, 1/4 tsp baking soda, 1/8 tsp salt, 1/2 cup flour, and 1/4 tsp vanilla extract.

Where they were combined…

…and baked at 375 degrees for about ten minutes!

After they cooled, I spread a bit less than half of the Betty Crocker chocolate frosting container over the top. This was supposed to have a tablespoon of peanut butter in it, but I ran out of it when I made the batter. Here’s the pan next to the recipe book:

Then Derek came home and was able to benefit from my work without witnessing any of the pain that went into making them.

The end!

*A few days ago Derek and I were talking about how there should be a comic strip called “Miss Hap in the Kitchen” about a blundering transgendered chef. I think the world is ready for that.

Local shows & no shows

A few weeks ago, I said that Mariage Blanc was my favorite local band. Oops, forgot about Harangue! They’re another band that I’ll try to see whenever I get the chance. I think I saw them open twice for Man Man in the past few years and another time for Deerhunter. I particularly enjoyed their lunch time performance downtown a few months ago as they confused and agitated passersby.

The working stiffs shuffled out again to see them Monday night in Bloomfield. Matt commented that there was a good crowd for a Monday and someone said, “I’m missing RAW!” to which someone else responded, “You don’t have TiVo?” What can I say? I like to giggle. Anyway, if you ever have the chance to see them, do it. The lighting was strange in that pretty much only the drummer was highlighted while everyone else was in shadow, which was fine because he is great to watch. Best expressions on the planet. It was a good, loud show but I left shortly after their set. Box Elders seemed fun, but my desire to eat the leftover pizza in my refrigerator outweighed my need to see them.

On Saturday, I caught the end of Delicious Pastries’ set before Mariage Blanc. They sound like the kind of uplifting stuff that I should be listening to now to get myself out of the doldrums. It was a sold out charity show to support a library in Ecuador. The day before, I went to a ModCloth event to support a women’s shelter. I’m surrounded by humanitarians!

One show I won’t be seeing any time soon will be The Parlor Mob because they have again neglected Pittsburgh. My ideal show would be for them to play at Brillo with either of the above bands and/or Shade because it is nearby, I’d be able to see my friend Nick and hear Craigy’s brit pop!

What’s everyone listening to these days? I am in desperate need of new music.

Movie mediocrity: Three movies in one day: Wristcutters, Pineapple Express, and Happy Endings

Sunday was a lazy day. There may or may not have been a KFC bowl involved.

First up: Wristcutters. I happened upon this DVD in the living room while Derek wasn’t home and absconded into my bedroom with it. It’s based on the short story “Kneller’s Happy Campers.” The idea is that after you kill yourself, or “off,” as they put it, you are doomed to this purgatory-esque middle-America like place where you run out eternity. It sucks there, you have to have a job, you can’t smile, blah blah. It stars Patrick Fugit, Shannon Sossamon (who I could stare at all day even though I don’t think she’s a particularly talented actress), a guy who’s character is just like the dude from Gogol Bordello, Tom Waits, the funny looking dude from Me, You, and Everything We Know and a random appearance by Will Arnett. It’s supposed to be a dark comedy, but honestly, it’s just not that funny. If anything, the way suicide was handled was pretty interesting. You see how everyone dies, and despite the seriousness, it’s a “comedy,” so hey, lighten up! The film in no way endorses it, that’s for sure. It’s entertaining enough, and I admired the idea and some of the cleverness, but eh. I do not recommend this at all.

I helped Pete continue in the Cinema Sunday tradition by watching Pineapple Express after the Steelers game. I saw this in the theater and didn’t remember it being as problematic. Two hapless pot smokers get entangled in some crazy situations after one of them witnesses a murder. James Franco’s character is pretty great, and he’s a lot funnier than you’d expect, especially compared to his Freaks and Geeks character. I suppose the same goes for Seth Rogen, but he’s pretty much his character from Knocked Up. This movie follows the Apatow boy-man story arch (dudes are bffs, have an immature fight about how they don’t need each other, realize that they need each other, return to being bffs) while throwing in some over-the-top violence that doesn’t succeed as satire of the action-movie genre. It’s weird that the bad guys, Gary Cole and Rosie Perez, were played pretty straight. Craig Robinson and Kevin Corrigan were good goons, and Danny McBride was as good as he was in Tropic Thunder.  I really liked the first half and the very end of this movie. Overall, I would recommend this over other movies in the Red Box.

Finally, when faced with watching Waiting (which I just watched earlier in the week for some reason) or Happy Endings, I went with the latter. It’s one of those stories about the intertwined lives of a bunch of screwed up people. The ensemble includes Lisa Kudrow, Steve Coogan, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Tom Arnold, Laura Dern and John Ritter’s son, Jason. The title is a play on the idea of full-release massages (one of the characters is a sleazy masseuse) and the characters living happy endings. Maggie Gyllenhaal unsurprisingly is a standout as a sexy, amoral, manipulative mooch who sleeps with a young gay guy as a way to blackmail him into letting her sleaze on his rich father. She sings a lot, too, and is kind of mesmerizing. Lisa Kudrow was kind of all of the non-Phoebe roles she always plays (uptight yet witty), but does well. The story is decent and it was definitely the best movie I watched this day. David from Roseanne has a small role, so not only did he work with Tom Arnold before, he was also in The Opposite of Sex with Lisa Kudrow. All of these movies have given me an edge in playing that seven degrees game. This is a challenge to anyone interested.

Potent Quotables

On Saturday night, I spouted the old proverb, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” In response, my friend Justin said this for some reason:

“Give a man a hamburger and he will fucking savor that shit. Give him $5 and he might eat five dollar hamburgers.”

Have wiser words ever been spoken?

***

I rode the bus last week with a bunch of people who apparently just can’t catch a break. I couldn’t bring myself to look at them, but from their voices, I will profile that there was an older white man, a younger black man and a middle aged white woman.

Woman, using the older man’s mp3 player: “I’ve gotta get me one of these! American woman! Freeee.”

Older man: “I gotta get some Zeppelin on there. And the Rolling Stones’ “Forty Licks.” That’s right…forty songs, forty licks…They should have a place where you pay them and you just say, “Put that whole Zeppelin library on there,” and they do it for you.” The younger man implies that there are places where you can do this.

Older man: “You can’t do anything Downtown without getting patted down.” Really? He went on to tell a story about how he was wearing his father’s coat and was patted down randomly by police officers and they found a pill in his pocket, jeopardizing his parole. “They said I looked suspicious. I didn’t even know it was in there!”

Young man: “What’d you have? Klonopin?” He named some other drug I can’t remember.

Older man: “Oxycontin. It was my dad’s!”

Young man: “They work together.” The woman agreed about the police corruption while continuing to sing. “I can’t even get a book out of the library because somebody used my library card. They got science books, those expensive books. Now they want to charge me $300!”

Older man: “Now you gotta use somebody else’s card just to get a book! What comes around goes around!” I’m pretty sure that’s not what that means! He then went on a tirade about video rental late fees.

Woman: “I’ve got all kinds of videos from all over the place! From the video store, the library -”

One of the men: “They’re going to charge you for those.”

Woman: “Not for seven years they ain’t!”