Kind of awesome

Just a little while ago I witnessed a display that lifted my spirits, if only for a moment.

It was a combination of things I generally hate – smoking, cussing in public and making a ruckus.

A man in a white tank top with his arm around a confused looking girl was asking, “Are you talking to me?”

An older man with long, grey ponytail, in cut off denim shorts with a cane and a cigar dangling out of his mouth yelled, “Yeah, I’m talking to you! You told her to shut her fucking mouth! You never tell a woman to shut her fucking mouth!”

I thought that was kind of awesome.

Pictures & planting seeds

This is me*, as of late:

*artist’s interpretation

I recently saw a bat* for the first time while watching Iron Man in the park:

*bat not pictured

I have been more excited about this than a lot of things in recent times: I planted the “Garden in a Bag” that Derek gave me for Christmas last week, and they already sprouted!

I named the top one Seymour and the weak looking one the bottom Derek. There are two more that have yet to peak out! I think seeds are the craziest things. Derek was trying to do something on his computer and I kept commenting, “Isn’t this amazing?” Like, this happened in the course of one day. I looked in the morning and when I came home at night all these little twisty twirlies were saying hello. I just want to plant a million seeds and watch them grow.  This makes me think of the song Ida, My by Annuals: Planting seeds can’t be the only way to find a simple day, a simpler way.

Portland, OR & Sasquatch Music Festival 2009

Internet, I know you’ve been asking, “Where has Blah & Order been? What has Blah & Order been doing?” Here is one answer:

On May 19, I went to Portland. There I stayed for about three days. My sister’s best friend was kind enough to invite me out there and host me, and since her schedule had her working from 1 p.m. – 1 a.m. every day that I was there, we went out to breakfast in the mornings and then I wandered the streets in the afternoon and night. Having the most Pittsburgh-y time in Portland, I hung out on a series of platonic dates with my friend Nate from college every day as well as getting drinks with Andy, the other PGH-PDX transport that I know, one night. I think I explored nearly every major neighborhood, as well as the eateries within them. I also had my share of luck in a few great vintage stores, including a Jagr jersey and a 1992 Olympic dream team paper jacket with the likes of Patrick Ewing and Larry Byrd on it. A picture of that is forthcoming. Nate took me to a lot of cool spots that I probably would not have found on my own, like a weird bonfire, a house show, and a pretty dock that he (jokingly) tried to push me off of.

My first objective on this trip was to scout out Portland as a possible place to live in the future. I haven’t come to a decision, but I haven’t ruled it out.

The second objective was to go to the Sasquatch Music Festival in Washington at the Gorge. Here is what happened there:

Saturday:

Maria Bamford: I really like her, but she was so awkward that I was almost uncomfortable. Like, I was unnecessarily nervous for her.

Devotchka: Outstanding. Note the crowd reflection in this tuba:

Animal Collective: Sounded good but was not a particularly visually engaging performance. I was smashed against drunken idiots the whole time which didn’t make me like it any better.

Mos Def: I stood towards the back for him for a few songs until I realized I was hungry, and then found food instead.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: I was relaxing during this set but was thoroughly entertained. I wondered if I should go watch Bon Iver instead, but opted to wait and try to catch him in Pittsburgh or something.

Kings of Leon: People want to say a lot of bad things about Kings of Leon, but I like what I know of their music. They were super boring on stage though.

Sunday:

Mike Watt and The Missingmen: Caught his last song and was sad because he seemed like a neat guy.

Street Sweeper Social Club: I was just lying there, contributing to my sunburn. Not into it.

The Walkmen: I opened up my umbrella to shield me from the sun, and enjoyed their set from under my shelter.

Fences: I wandered over by the small stage to check them out and stayed for a few songs. I don’t remember feeling any certain way about them.

St. Vincent: I watched her for a little while, thinking about how much book a week geek would have liked her romper. She’s very cute and has a beautiful voice. After a few songs, I decided I didn’t want to miss Todd Barry completely.

The Red Wine Boys: Right after I found a place to sit, Aziz Ansari joined Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin on stage, to “wine-board” the latter.

Aziz Ansari: I was so happy with his set. He was entirely on the mark.

Zach Galifianakis: I stayed around for the first few minutes, but it was so crowded and I wanted to be able to make it back to the main stage in time for TV on the Radio.

TV on the Radio: As good as I expected. Unfortunately, I left for M83 before Aziz joined them on stage.

M83: I was bopping around by myself for the first time, really. It was dreamy and kind of hot and everyone was all red and close together. It wasn’t annoying though, surprisingly.

Of Montreal: After M83, everyone collectively went insane and started pushing to the front. I was crushed in about the second row for the whole time Of Montreal was setting up, which was about half an hour. Once they started, the closeness was unbearable and I physically could not turn around to get out of the crowd. I had some little boy’s elbow in my neck until I kept shoving it off. I was able to wrestle myself out of the crowd after the third song. Once I emerged from the belly of the beast, it was like I had been thrown from a sauna into glacial waters. It was then that I noticed my small canvas backpack, which only had a shirt, a sweatshirt, a water bottle and a bandanna in it was curiously light. Oh, that’s because NONE OF THAT STUFF WAS IN IT. Some jerk unzipped my backpack in the crowd, probably upset that it was keeping them two inches farther from the stage. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. I hope they get theirs. I hope that one day when they are cold, their sweatshirt is not there. Anyway, this sucked because I love Of Montreal. I watched the rest of their set from very far away.

Janes Addiction: Wrapped up in a blanket because I was now wearing only a tank top and pair of shorts in the nighttime air, I was only partially able to enjoy this spectacle before we headed back to camp.

Monday

The thing about camp was that it was totally beautiful and this dog, Cedar, was there:

Heartless Bastards: Only saw their last song, and like Mike Watt, I was like, “Oh, crap.”

Deerhoof: Delightfully wacky as always.

Grizzly Bear: I was seriously chilling out during their set. They sound great live. Actually, no one sounded bad all weekend.

Fleet Foxes: I thought they were kind of whatever.

Gogol Bordello: Fun stage antics. A lot more energy than other bands.

Santigold: I never really heard her other than that song that was in the MTV commercials the other year and in that Jay-Z sample. She was really cute and interacted with the crowd a lot. I support her as a good performer, though I am not necessarily into her music.

Beach House: They were having a lot of technical problems and dissed the East Coast, to which I took feigned offence. I sat in the dirt for a song or two and then wandered around until Girl Talk went on.

Girl Talk: And thank goodness I decided to see him. This was the best crowd experience I had the entire weekend. Everyone was happy and feeling awesome. I officially got over the “What’s the big deal about Girl Talk?” thing. His formula of playing songs white people like over rap songs that white people know (and vice versa) is working, and whatever, it’s fun.

Erykah Badu: She sounded perfect. At the beginning, I was feeling her attitude…it was very “I have somewhere better to be,” but towards the end she seemed to loosen up and have more fun.

All in all, it was a cool week away.

Heart Stains to Fart Stains

So, I have a lot to update about, but in the meantime, please let this hold you over.

I have been thinking of scanning an old book of drawings I did in kindergarten, but now my friend Rob has blown my mind by sharing his childhood artwork with me.

He had been seriously holding out on me by not showing me this sooner. I really hate him for it.

I am also a big fan of the Devle series.

Falling behind on the blog again: A few things I did in the past week or so

• Last Saturday, I saw Lohio at the Brillobox. I somehow had never heard them before, and I had a decent time. I enjoyed their last song with the dude from The Harlan Twins, who I once had a class with. Jason and I did not really feel like being there, and I’m not sure exactly why we went. We even missed Mariage Blanc because we weren’t planning on going out. The opener Karate Coyote was surprisingly okay, only because of the low expectations set by their name…that is one serious case of Terrible Band Name. While we had fun afterwords, I think we both would have preferred to stay at my apartment watching funny videos on the internet.

• I really enjoyed the CP Remixed last Thursday, featuring Joy Ike, Meeting of Important People and Donora. I know they all have a lot of local success, but I found myself asking, “Why aren’t they famous?” out loud and to myself. Joy Ike has a mainstream but not boring appeal.

It was nice to see Meeting of Important People again, even if they suffer from a mild case of Terrible Band Name.

I had never heard Donora, but I understood what the hubbub was about. Here is a video of their cover of MIA’s “Paper Planes.”

More (and better) videos are on the City Paper’s website.

• My friend Julie from home mailed me these paintings of I commissioned of me and my friend Pete, inspired by La Planète Sauvage. I am endlessly jealous of how effortlessly she created them.

• Pete and I visited my family over the weekend. The trip largely consisted of us eating a lot of junk. We continued this on our way back by stopping at a magical place called Biscuit World (not to be confused with Biscuitville).

I think we were in West Virginia. We were anxious because it appeared not to be open. The woman inside said, “Did you think we were closed? I wish we were!” with a slight Southern accent. She botched up our order but was so pleasant. We shared these five amazing biscuit sandwiches.

Also on the way back, we admired this weird looking structure that made us feel like we were on LOST.

• I went to Karmic Yogurt yesterday just because. I ended up spending over $4 for a small, plain yogurt with granola and strawberries. I felt very stupid about this the entire time. The tiny shop is kind of weird and could probably benefit from like, one decoration of some kind. Two nice young girls were working and seemed to still be figuring stuff out. I guess I say go once to satiate your curiosity if you’ve never had it, but if you have any willpower and are smarter than me you will not spend nearly five dollars on a bowl of nothing.

• I recently watched Slap Shot and Breaking Away. I had written these movies off as “guy movies,” which was just plain dumb because I really liked them and had just let my prejudice against sports get in the way. Speaking of which, I have watched more hockey in the past week than I ever have in my life (which now only about three times). I shriek a lot and find it too nerve wracking. May God bless Fleury.

Sasquatch Music Festival 2009 – HALP!!

Surprisingly enough, I have never been to one of these music festivals. I’m turning to you, Internet, to find out if you have any sage wisdom for me, and also to find out your advice about who I should see. Below, the purple bands are ones that I am definitely going to see. In red are the bands/comedians I want to see but have timing issues. The other bands I have either not heard of or simply don’t care to see. Please look at them and tell me if I’m being a fool! Here is the actual schedule.

Saturday, May 23th

Kings of Leon / Yeah Yeah Yeahs / The Decemberists / Animal Collective / Bon Iver / Devotchka / M. Ward / Doves / Sun Kil Moon / The Gaslight Anthem / King Khan & The Shrines / Ra Ra Riot / Shearwater / Passion Pit / Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band / Vince Mira / Blind Pilot / AA Bondy / Owl City / Arthur & Yu / Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele / Death Vessel / People’s Republic of Komedy / James Pants / Todd Barry / Tim and Eric / Crystal Castles / Nick Thune / Mos Def / Maria Bamford / Champagne Champagne

Kings of Leon (10:00 p.m.) and Doves (2:20 p.m.) are the only two acts that I want to see that don’t conflict with anything else.

• M. Ward/Maria Bamford (3:25-4:10 vs. 3:30-4:15) I’m deadlocked. I’ve liked Maria Bamford for a long time, so am probably leaning towards her, actually.

• Devotchka/Todd Barry (4:30-5:15 vs. 4:45-5:30) I’ve never seen Todd Barry, which is so fucked, but I really like Devotchka…so I think they win.

• Animal Collective/Tim & Eric (5:40-6:40 vs. 6:00-7:00) I have no idea. I could potentially watch the beginning of Animal Collective’s set and let that make my decision for me.

• The Decemberists/Mos Def (7:05-8:05 vs. 7:15-8:15) This is kind of like, duh, Mos Def, but I will regret having to miss The Decemberists, I think.

• Yeah Yeah Yeahs/Bon Iver (8:30-9:30 vs. 8:45-9:45) I’m very curious to see both of these acts. Crap!

Sunday, May 24th

Jane’s Addiction / Nine Inch Nails / TV On The Radio / The Murder City Devils / of Montreal / The Avett Brothers / Calexico / M83 / The Airborne Toxic Event / The Walkmen / The Wrens / St. Vincent / The Dodos / John Vanderslice / The Submarines / Viva Voce / The Builders And The Butchers / Fences / Point Juncture, WA / The Red Wine Boys / Hockey / Zach Galifianakis / Deadmau5 / Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head / People’s Republic of Komedy / The Henry Clay People / Aziz Ansari / Mike Watt and The Missingmen / Mad Rad / Street Sweeper Social Club

These all work out fine: The Walkmen (2:05), The Avett Brothers (4:10-5:00), Aziz Ansari (4:45-5:30) and Of Montreal (8:45).

• My giant problem is Zach Galifianakis/TV on the Radio/M83 (6:00-7:00 vs. 6:35-7:35 vs. 7:15-8:15). This is made slightly easier by the fact that I just saw Zach Galifianakis a few weeks ago, but still – I want to see him again. TV on the Radio is playing a sold out show tonight in Pittsburgh and I would love to see them live – but M83! What to do?! The timing for all of these works out so I could see the beginning/end/middle of the sets. Should I just do that?

Monday, May 25th

Ben Harper and Relentless7 / Erykah Badu / Silversun Pickups / Fleet Foxes / Gogol Bordello / Santigold / Grizzly Bear / Explosions In The Sky / Girl Talk / Blitzen Trapper / The Knux / Monotonix / Bishop Allen / Black Moth Super Rainbow / Beach House / The Dutchess And The Duke / School Of Seven Bells / Horse Feathers / The Pica Beats / Loch Lomond / Other Lives / Amanda Blank / Natasha Leggero / The Whitest Kids U’ Know / People’s Republic of Komedy / Tobacco / Chromeo (DJ Set) / God’s Pottery / Deerhoof / BLK JKS / Heartless Bastards

I just heard Heartless Bastards (12:00) on the radio last night (I was listening to Nicole Atkins co-host a show in NJ) so that made up my mind for me. The other no-conflict bands are Deerhoof (12:55), Gogol Bordello (3:50), Fleet Foxes (4:45), Beach House (6:30) and Erykah Badu (7:30).

• In the case of Black Moth Super Rainbow/Grizzly Bear (1:40-2:25 vs. 1:50-2:35), I’m pretty positive that I will be seeing Grizzly Bear. It is my own fault that I didn’t see BMSR’s recent free show at CMU.

• As for Bishop Allen/Santigold (2:45-3:30 vs. 2:50-3:35), I don’t really know Bishop Allen and want to see if Santigold lives up to the hype, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be seeing her.

• It seems relevant to point out that I have never seen Girltalk and he’s on from 7:15-8:15, which is right at the end of Beach House, but Erykah Badu starts at 7:30 and I think she quite obviously wins.

I’ll greatly appreciate any recommendations/warnings!

Thank you.

Thanks to everyone who has commented on, has read, or is about to read my previous entry. I really appreciate all of the feedback. As evidenced by the conversations I’ve had with several people recently about the topic, arguments about it can go in thousands of directions (kind of on different planes of a circle with more offshoots coming off of it…). While trying unsuccessfully to be brief, I was careful to try to speak only of my own experience – even though it appears to be representative of many others’ also (perhaps not that of women who do “like” it…which I believe just represents a different set of problems).  Man, is it complicated.

The post was about a specific kind of harassment – it was not about every man, it was not about men who are earnestly interested in getting to know you, it did not assume that any person who dares look at you is a letch. It is about those who think it is acceptable to forwardly judge every woman sexually, albeit in an attempt at complimenting the woman or, more often than not, in just a straight-up degrading manner, even when the recipient makes it clear they are offended or not interested in being spoken to. I can’t imagine that men would enjoy being forced into awkward, scary, or uncomfortable situations by strangers on a daily basis, even if it was not sexual. I am sure that most of these guys that behave this way don’t even understand why it is upsetting and wrong. Not everyone can be cursed with the same level of self-awareness that I suffer from.  The fact that this issue is so far ingrained in our culture as “how it is,” and has become so institutionalized is why I think we still need to talk about it, even if it does feel hopeless.

Again, thanks.

Not awesome: Getting sexually harassed by strangers & being made to feel like it’s not a big deal

Even though it was a dreary day and promises to be a dreary weekend, I feel like I need to write about this now. Earlier, I was reading a thread on a local message board where girls were venting about getting catcalled. It was really interesting to read about the experiences that other women have had with street harassment, and also to see the responses of guys who are seemingly unaware at how many females across the board (er, message board?) have to deal with it. As the weather starts to get warmer, I dread the task of getting dressed for the day. Ugh. I’m not sure where to start, or where I’m going with this. I just want to try to explain how this makes me feel in attempt to give people an understanding of why this is not okay.

As much as I want to not care about ‘what others think,’ years and years of some men talking to me a certain way has certainly had a lasting negative impact on my self image. It is so disappointing that these men don’t understand this. I want to shake people and scream, “God, do you have a mother? A sister? Would you want someone talking like this to your daughter?”

In the past, I was afraid talking about this kind of comes off as complaining about getting “hit on too much,” like, “Oh man, my biggest problem is that I’m so hot!” That is hardly the sentiment. If I can stress one thing enough, it’s that it is not a compliment. Also, shrugging your shoulders and telling a girl to get over it is really dismissive of a greater problem.

It is not a compliment for someone to respect you so little to think it is okay to talk to you that way. Getting ogled, hissed at, winked at and smooched at by strangers makes me want to throw up.

Public Service Animated GIF: Obsessed Movie Winking Smiley Face

Dear lucky viewing public,

If you’re anything like me, after seeing the movie Obsessed starring Stringer Bell, Beyonce and Ali Larter, you turned to Google to help you find the hilarious animated smiley face Ali Larter sent Stringer to email to your love interest. If you are truly like me, then your Google search yielded no results – UNTIL NOW.

You’re welcome,

Tempgirl Blah & Order

Harangue, Mr. Honeybunch & Jeremy Jay @ Gooski’s

First up last night was fellow New Jersey native Julie Sokolow’s band, Mr. Honeybunch. Maybe I’ll rename my imaginary solo project ‘Oats’ so I can tour with them. Some young’uns were there to support them. My friend remarked that it was like Pittsburgh: The Next Generation and she was too right. I was in a bizarre world where everyone was younger than me but the kid on stage was dressed like he was from the 80s and buckled his knees like Elvis. They were fun and had an unpolished sound. They all switched up instruments at some point and my favorite song was the last one where the drummer sang, “Every time I take my broke ass to Gooski’s I know I’m gonna have a good time.” During one song, my bud Suzy asked, “What’s that Velvet Underground song that this sounds exactly like?” which at first sounds like a criticism of their originality, but is also a bit of a compliment.

I realize this blog is becoming an account of all of the same things I do all of the time, but whatever. I love seeing Harangue live, especially while waiting for their album to come out. While they were setting up, I was encouraged to try to get a candid photo of two of the guys under a lamp because it looked kind of artsy, but then I got scared because Taichi saw me, so it came out like this:

This can add to the mystery of them on the internet.

They then performed in a practically pitch black room, save for these lights:

At one point, Matt got up from behind the keyboard and was singing in the corner. I’m not sure if it was because I was ridiculously tired, but I felt like I was watching something really amazing. They had some technical problems (Tim said, “Earth Day can be unpredictable”) that nearly cut the set short, but worked it out long enough to play one more song.

So finally, Jeremy Jay, this dude from Los Angeles with his French drummer graces the stage. This arrogant guy was full of ‘tude. He kept complaining about his vocals not being loud enough, though to my untrained ear, I thought it sounded fine. The way he whined, “Matthew, please!” to fix it made me want to slap him on Matt’s behalf (no offense to Matt, I know he likes this guy). Let’s examine his stage banter:

- “We’re a band called The Muffled.”

- “Where’s the sound guy? Awful!”

- [Imploring the few people left in the room to come closer to the stage] “We want to love you! Show us what ‘Pittsburgh’ is all about!” Hey, maybe no one wants to get closer to you because you’re a condescending jerk!

- [In response to some other unperceivable sound problem again] “At this point, whatever.”

I would have enjoyed his set had I not been frustratingly furious throughout it. Despite myself, I liked the song “Love Everlasting.” I was also shocked to find out that he performs the song “Airwalker.” I have heard this song before and really liked it and didn’t know who sang it. Ugh.

CMU Carnival 2009: Zach Galifianakis & The New Pornographers

I have to give it up to CMU’s Activities Board. Year after year I have been able to enjoy their programming despite no longer being a student and not having gone to their school. Five years ago (!) they brought in Mitch Hedberg, who I practically begged Pitt’s student stupid activities board to get.  Three years ago I saw The Shins with The Brunettes. I don’t think I even tried to get into Demetri Martin because it was indoors that year.  Last year they had the Human Giant guys. Good golly.

I was surprised to find out they got Zach Galifianakis this year. I mean, he’s kind of…weird? While waiting in the non-ticket holders line, I overheard one student ask, “Who is this?” and her friend replied, “He’s a stand up comedian.” She then said, “I don’t really like stand up comedy.” WHAT? While this really irritated me, I was glad all these dummies would get their minds expanded. Unfortunately, as everyone was vacating the tent, I heard another girl say, “He started out really funny,” and her friend finished, “But he went downhill really fast.” Patently untrue. In reference to a video where his head was superimposed on a woman with her chest revealed, she said, “I mean, there were kids watching!” Again – what? I think it was pretty clear that this part of the carnival was not for children. Unless she was referring to little tittybabies like herself.

My idiot friend was running late so I made this video. The sound quality is fine, but the image is not all that great. It’s the first piano segment of his act:

I stopped taping for a minute while he ranted about the kid who took his picture with a cellphone. Here’s where it picks up again.

I have two more videos to post once they are uploaded.

The next day, I came out for The New Pornographers. I’ll admit that while I’m a big fan of both A.C. Newman and Neko Case, I never really listened to them. I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, but I found out I knew more of his stuff that I realized. I weaseled my way up the second row after they were done and found myself surrounded by really affectionate couples. During the show I felt like I was an unwilling participant in a nerd orgy.

A.C. Newman joked about getting 83% on expert vocals on one of their own songs in Rock Band. I never thought about musicians trying to do their own songs on their. It blew my mind a little. A loud kid behind me kept commenting on everything the drummer did, but he was pretty entertaining. He looks like Eugene Mirman yet drums like Tim Brown! Here’s a video of their encore, ELO’s “Don’t Bring Me Down.”

An exercise in thinking too hard: Follow up on 17 Again

I feel like I have to admit that at least half of my desire to see this movie was to see if I could get a certain person to join me. A sort of litmus test, if you will. After seeing it…I don’t know even know where to begin. Here are some key problems:

• WHY DOESN’T ANYONE RECOGNIZE HIM? Our protagonist is not just transformed into some random kid – he’s transformed into his 17-year-old self. He’s surrounded by people who knew him growing up – his best friend, his old gym coach, his soon-to-be ex-wife – and hey, don’t most kids know what their parents looked like when they were younger?

• I commented during the movie that the writers must have a really low opinion of teenage girls. In a scene where three of his daughter’s friends are aggressively coming onto him, he asks them how they expect anyone to respect them if they don’t respect themselves. One says something like, “You don’t have to respect me,” and the second argues, “No! Don’t respect me!” and the third desperately says, “You don’t even have to remember my name.” This scene (and the utter stupidity consistently displayed by his daughter) made me feel kind of terrible. Also, I fear for young women who will see this movie because they’re lusting after Zac Efron.

• My friend jokingly asked, “Is this directed by Zac Efron?” There were definitely a few too many glamour shots of this kid. At the same time, it seems like most people at the high school (except the sluts) don’t realize he’s totally gorgeous, even if he does dress like Ellen DeGeneres. I wasn’t under the impression that handsome, absurdly talented kids are shoved in the hall and treated like dorks. On that note, why wasn’t this grown man better equipped to handle high school – again? Our conclusion is that the writers are as out of touch with kids today as the main character. The same friend pointed out that if a man was really 17 again, the movie would probably be near X-rated.

• The more I think about it, the “lesson” in this movie was really lackluster. *Select this block of text if you don’t care about “spoiling” the movie for yourself:

He at first thinks he was transformed so that he could realize his dreams – getting a basketball scholarship – but he realizes he is actually sent back to rebuild his family. When given the chance to be the basketball star again, he hands the reigns over to his son. The only thing he managed to do to his daughter was get her dumped and humiliated. While he gets his wife back, I’m not sure he really earned his second chance. The wife and his friend know about the age switch (provided by a magical janitor/spirit guide), but will the kids ever find out? Won’t they be sad that their new friend completely disappeared? Will they ever realize their dad looked just like him? Won’t the daughter want to commit suicide? So many questions. Also, my crush on Matthew Perry was not rekindled. I also felt sad for him that he was playing second fiddle to Zac Efron.

My verdict: Do. Not. Watch.

Kids turning into adults. Adults turning into kids.

In preparation to see 17 Again tonight, I have decided to revisit all of the other adults and children switching places movies that I have loved in the past.

Big (1988) – “Have you ever had a really big secret?”

What the hell kind of tagline is that? Big is obviously the first movie that usually comes to mind when you’re thinking of these kinds of movies, even though 1988 was THE YEAR for movies like this. As everyone reading this should know, the kid makes a wish to grow up to a carnival machine and then turns into Tom Hanks. He gets a rad job and a cool house, but I don’t remember how…at least in 13 Going on 30, she is transported to her adult life already in progress, as in she is in the future, rather than an adult version of herself in present times where her kid self has disappeared. Also, Big is weird because of Tom Hanks’ relationship with an adult woman. Wow. This movie was bizarre and problematic. But hey, look at this!

13 Going on 30 (2004) – “For some, 13 feels like it was just yesterday. For Jenna, it was.”

I have an irrational hatred for Jennifer Garner that is mostly based on her character from “Felicity” (and real life relationship with Scott Foley). Merely looking at her usually makes me angry and is the reason I couldn’t watch “Alias.” I’ll admit that she is gorgeous, but her voice is annoying and I swear she is sucking her cheeks in on purpose sometimes. Anyway, I saw this movie by accident when I was home from college. I would like to attribute my enthusiasm for this movie to Mark Ruffalo, but honestly, Jennifer Garner did a wonderful job portraying a 13-year-old in a 30-year-old’s body (much like the great acting in Vice Versa). Her performance was just purely sweet. Unhateable. She doesn’t switch with anyone, rather she makes a wish on her 13^th birthday to fast forward to her future, and thanks to some magical dollhouse dust, she wakes up the next day in her adult life. Surely the results of not knowing what happened in the last 17 years of your life would be more catastrophic than they were in this movie, but whatever. It is fully adorable.

Vice Versa (1988) – “The Comedy For The Kid In All Of Us.”

The only thing I really remember is that Fred Savage drinks a beer, I think. Like a generic, Repo Man-style beer can. Judge Reinhold is his dad, and they switch places. I probably like this more than Big, actually, but probably just as much as 13 Going on 30. Fred Savage was a great kid actor, showing even more promise than Lindsay Lohan ever did. I want to watch this again, right now.

Freaky Friday – “Mondays are manic. Wednesdays are wild. And Fridays are about to get a little freaky.” (2003)

I haven’t seen the Barbara Harris/Jodie Foster Freaky Friday (1976), but I have seen the made for TV Freaky Friday with Shelley Long/Gaby Hoffmann (1995). I’m pretty sure I had just read the book when I originally watched it, and I had a connection with Shelley Long because I watched “Cheers.” She gave a wholesomeness to the character because she always plays doofy and kind of dumb, which is good for a kid trapped in an adult’s body. I think most people are familiar with the premise – the mother and daughter complain about how easy the other’s life is until some sort of magic causes them to switch place for the day.

The Jamie Lee Curtis/Lindsay Lohan Freaky Friday (2003) threw in some a new obstacle: complicated love interests, and also some racist portrayals of Chinese people (which I forgave because of how much I like the movie otherwise). I was just thinking about how much I love Jamie Lee Curtis when I was watching True Lies the other day. Her timing in this is also perfect. Lindsay Lohan was still sort of a kid when this came out, and her acting is on par with Mean Girls. I still miss the days of precocious young Lindsay in The Parent Trap. I’m pretty sure I saw this at least twice in theaters.

I never saw Bruce Willis’ The Kid (2000), but it sounds kind of terrifying. The 8 year old version of himself appears to his adult self in order to help him get his life on track. Ack!  I don’t remember if I ever saw Like Father, Like Son (1987) starring Dudley Moore/Kirk Cameron, but it’s basically father/son Freaky Friday with a magical potion. Actually, I think I saw this and appropriately forgot it. We’ll see where 17 Again lands in this territory.

Recent ramblings

Oops. There’s been a lot I’ve wanted to say and a lot that I’ve wanted to say but don’t at all feel like writing about…sorry for being e-loof (oh my god, did I make that up?!).  Here is my life lately, presented in bullet points:

Things I did:

• The Parlor Mob came! Duh. I have a video that I have to upload.I brought them vegan German chocolate cupcakes. These cupcakes made people go crazy. Nearly everyone who had one said it was the best cupcake they had ever had. Nick even made Sam call me to tell me so! This was a fun night overall. My friends and I had a potluck beforehand and I ended up going to bed pretty early. My bud Jason’s back in town!

Paul from The Parlor Mob

• I was reunited with the old HBO show “Dream On.” I used to fall back on an anecdote about this show often when I was writing in college. I won’t go into it now in case I feel like using it again later.

• I saw Adventureland and Fast & Furious back to back. I highly recommend the first and highly do not recommend the latter, even just for yuks.

• I saw Bill Callahan at Paul’s CDs on 4/14. I talked to him awkwardly. Here’s a write up with a video on the City Paper FFW>> blog.

• I’ve been going to the gym for about a month! I have dubbed this stage of my life as Operation: Krang Body (previously called Operation: Top Model).

• I went to an open mic comedy night in the South Side. It forced me to consider being a comedian. Can someone please explain to me how you make a joke about having a GPS system that sounds like Samuel L. Jackson (SamSam instead of TomTom) and fail to even mention Changing Lanes?

Things I thought about:

• Someone remarked that I have a “type.” I’ve realized that this is actually kind of true. It seems that a trademark is the cleft chin. Let me take opportunity to post this picture of Aaron Eckhart that I love.

• I have been epically failing at the True Spies theme for the month, All-Literative April. I do have things I want to post, and I will hopefully get to them later this week.

• I’m going to see the hell out of 17 Again. I love all of these kids and adults switching places movies (or adults turning into kids and vice versa). Big, all incarnations of Freaky Friday, 13 Going on 30 – which I didn’t expect to like at all – all awesome. The only bad thing is I was hoping to keep Zac Ephron out of my pop culture radar for as long as possible, and now he’s totally in my sphere of knowledge. (Also, I have a soft spot for Matthew Perry. A few years ago, I had a dream that I was at a fancy cocktail party wearing a beautiful red dress, and he asked me if I wanted “to get out of here,” and I declined because I had a boyfriend. This only solidified my notion that I was also the best girlfriend in real life. I actively had a crush on Matthew Perry at the time. I’m not sure that I wouldn’t have gotten out of there with him if the opportunity presented itself.)

Uh….that’s it for now. What a bunch of nonsense.

Unblurred 4/3/09 – Modern Formations’ Spring Salon

I planned on having a quiet Friday night to myself, but I had forgotten that it was time again for another Unblurred. I had heard of an intriguing show at Modern Formations, The Spring Salon. For this juried exhibition, visitors to the gallery submit a ballot with their top three choices of who they would like to see get their own solo exhibit in December. The show runs through April 24 and there will be a closing reception from 6-8 p.m.

My number one vote ended up going to someone I actually know, Spencer Longo. I ended up seeing his submission last because of the route I took around the gallery. I somehow knew it was his before I read his name next to it. I just looked at his portfolio page, and fuck, I had no idea of how artistically talented he is. I might be the least talented person I know. There were a pair of moonshoes underneath this that I couldn’t fit in the picture.

Spencer Longo - "Sci Fi Vacay"

I knew and knew of several other people who submitted. It was a fairly overwhelming scene with the amount of contributors and the crowd. I didn’t bring my camera or memo pad with me that night because I was afraid it was going to rain and didn’t want to have either in my pocket, so I ended up taking camera phone pictures of the names of artists I had never heard of before but wanted to learn more about. Thanks technology! I loved the idea of this show and there were so many great submissions (and a ton of cool female artists). Here they are:

Dan Vogel – Self-taught portraiture artist and co-founder of The Academy of the South Side in the Brew House with two other dudes who also seem to be awesome. I read about them here and here. I don’t really have the vocabulary for discussing art, but the surreal/photographic-ness of his portraits was nothing short of impressive.

Dan Vogel - "Ernesto"

Kirsten Lowe-Rebel – I found her Etsy page . “Smokin BanANNA” was on display during the show and is why I voted for her. I find a lot of mixed media stuff to be boring sometimes, but I loved her use of wood, ink and colors and especially the reinforcement stickers. If I had enough money to purchase art I would definitely patronize her site.

Kirsten Lowe-Rebel - "Smokin BanANNA"

Amy Conroy – Here is her CMU portfolio site. I really liked her watercolor in the show, and the rest of her stuff is even more interesting. It’s all kind of beautifully ugly (but not ugly, in a bad way). Her work also seems familiar. I’m not sure if she reminds me of another artist or if I’ve actually seen her stuff before.

Amy Conroy - Carrots

Seth Clark – He had a few collage and oil pieces that were really subtly pretty. I really like his website.  Here is “City.” I also like his Pittsburgh map.

Seth Clark - "City"

Alice Winn – I’m having trouble tracking down her web presence, but I found this piece she did on Blue Ruin Gallery’s website. Here is a little picture of what I saw in the show.  Right on top was a piece by Richard Schnap, who I mentioned after the last Unblurred.

Alice Winn - "In the Moment"

Her style would be easy to imagine as the illustrations in a print magazine.

Rachel Debuque – Can’t really find her either. She had cute, small drawings and I liked her simple style.

Rachel Debuque - "Around the House"

Carlee Freeman – Her website says she is from North Carolina, so I’m not sure how she ended up here. “Violin Head” was one of my favorite pieces in this whole show.

Carlee Freeman - "Violin Head"